Adam Fucking Frantz

Letter #3: June 8, 2012

Well, it’s all over but the waiting now.  5 years.  60 months.  1,825 days.  43,800 hours.  2,628,000 minutes.  157,680,000 seconds… If my math is correct, sans calculator.  now subtract ~ 7 months good time, provided I’m good, and 9-12 months for a drug program, if I’m eligible… not like I had a marijuana problem or anything.  Brings us to minus 1 1/4 – 1 1/2 years, then there are halfway houses to re-introduce us to society which is about a 6 month program.  Now we’re at minus 1 year & 1 month without the drug program and 1 3/4 to 2 years with it.  Okay so that’s 3-4 years depending.  1, 095 to 1,460 days respectively.  Of course we can’t forget I have 4 years of supervised probation after my release – more drug tests and good behavior but it’s possible to be let off probation after it’s half completed if you are an exemplary probate, which of course I will be.
There is not a chance I would risk my freedom again after dealing with incarceration once.  It behooves me how people can be repeat offenders and come back to this “life”.  So, on the good side, I’ll be home at 33 free at 36 and worst case home at 35 and free at 39.  Damn, fuck that number -39.  Yeesh.  I was SO looking forward to my early 30’s but I risked and lost at least the first couple-few.  I know that I am going to miss a lot of events, occasions, moments, good and bad, but I plan to thoroughly make up for the good ones.  HOlidays, birthdays, anniversaries, milestones, horse shows, dance recitals and so many other fun times. Family dinners, baby sitting my girls, their first days of school.  My family has promised to take pictures for me to capture some of the moments I’ll miss, times when my family needs me too.  Assholes at work, a break from the day to day, yard-work around mom & dads, moving days, mediator of communications between German, Irish and Italian family members (lol) and more.
What I Miss out on is what life is really about.  Love.  I’m away from all my loved ones, away from being there for them or with them.  Away from doing things we enjoy together. Undoubtedly I will return with new vigor for life and will truly appreciate what I have instead of striving for those things I don’t have or need.  A new lease on life as they say and I can’t wait for it!
If you thought I was fun before… Just wait!  Just don’t expect to smoke or drink with me cuz this guys over that shit. I’ve wasted & thrown away enough of my life on drugs & alcohol.  Not that I never had fun, but addiction and dependency are things of my past.  This kid’s going to enjoy life from an un-hazy or cloudy viewpoint!
-AFF 6/8/12

6 Responses to “Letter #3: June 8, 2012”

  • Nikki:

    There will be plenty of time for horsie shows (and photo shoots hehe), Robster Rolls, Frankie hikes and cuddles and everything else. We miss you, baby. Xoxo

  • Matty P:

    Great site here buddy – keep up the positive attitude and the time will pass. Beat run in the Schirroco when you’re out…


  • Hey dude. Glad you’re keeping your head up. It’ll pass in no time and you’ll be on a daily regiment of hugs and two wheels again.

    I was glad to see your comment and decision on keeping clean when you get out.

    I recently made mention on the forum to someone that its time to grow up and learn to depend on himself rathr than substances cause in doing so he will gain respect for becoming the man he really is.

    You are already a damn respectable guy, and I think you’ll find all areas of your life clearer and even more enjoyable in the long haul in that choice.

    I’ll be making a donation to your fund and sending you some magazines soon man.


  • SARR:

    Stay strong Alan. Lockup time sucks, but you’ll get through it.

  • SARR:

    Gawddam. Phone mistyped your frigging name. Adam Fucking Frantz…

  • rolsy:

    waiting sucks, i only had six months of the desert to get through cant imagine six years. But it sounds like you got the right attitude! Keep on keeping on dude.

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