Adam Fucking Frantz

Archive for June, 2016

Fitness and Fatness

Here’s the thing. For some reason a LOT of people assume that when you go to prison you see a lot of naked dudes, like it’s just dicks swinging everywhere. Naked men all in the shower snapping each other with towels or raping each other…I don’t know what they assume, but I assure you it’s quite the opposite. In prison there is clear understanding that if you’re walking around naked, you’re looking for something. So because of that, guys are very careful about keeping themselves covered up. It was never explained to me as such, but quite quickly you notice. If you’re unfortunate enough to be in a group shower, guys wear their boxers in there. If it there’s individual showers, guys don’t get fully undressed until after they are in the shower and the curtain/door is closed.


However, now that I’ve been home for a year or so I’ve seen more naked dudes in the local gym locker room than I’ve ever seen in my life, let alone a few years in prison. It’s like an “accepted” thing. These dudes just come back from a work out and get naked in there, talking to each other, sitting bare-assed on the benches, walking to the showers. It’s gross. I’m glad for you if you’ve become comfortable with your body over all those years, but I’m not, and you’re subjecting me to it all at once with no warning. I’d like to say that it’s mostly old dudes who just don’t give a fuck anymore, but then there’s some kid my age doing it who’s clearly learned from his elders…or visa versa, I don’t know. It’s offensive. I don’t walk around sticking my gen’s in your face. Bending over in front of you. Nobody wants to see that ….and if they do, take ‘em home with you.


Let me just say this. If you have any type of consideration for others, keep your naked self to yourself.
“But how do I do that?” you ask. Well, it’s simple. When you get back from your workout, get your clean underwear out of your bag and your shower supplies and proceed over to the showers in AT LEAST your underwear. Go into the shower. Close the door. THEN, and only then, take off your underwear and hang them over the curtain or door. When finished, dry off with your towel that’s hanging as well and put on your clean underwear you brought with you and then come out. BOOM eye-ball assault averted. I thank you, as do the rest of the guys in the gym.


Feel free to copy + paste as you please and post this up in your gyms locker room.

I don’t know what goes on in the women’s locker room, though I imagine it’s a lot of selfies in the mirror from what I see on Instagram, but ladies let me know if it’s like this for you too.


– Adam Frantz

MY eyes!

Offensive isn’t it?